May I Have Your Attention Please

I stated in a previous post that my neighbors and/or the neighborhood crack addict had stolen my copy of Deeper by Megan Hart before I had a chance to snatch it from my mailbox. This was an incorrect assessment. I found the package fully intact in the mail today, and a review will be forthcoming just as soon as I can give the book its deserved attention.

Thank you for your time and keep an eye out for the post later this week.

Reese's Links: Things That Made Me Smile This Week

Here there are the top things that made me smile this week, as decided by me. In no particular order. Enjoy :)

Thanksgiving. I know I complain about it, but any excuse to drink beer and eat pie is actually just fine by me. Yes, beer. Not wine. That's how the Pilgrims did it, after all.

And I found a recipe for a twist on the thing I whine most about: lasagna on every holiday. Mexican food + lasagna? These are a few of my favorite things!

How about some positive energy? I got my hands on a copy of an Abraham Hicks lecture on CD this weekend. It's a little floaty and hard to take at first, but it goes along the same lines as the bestselling book The Secret, which I reviewed earlier in this blog. Appropriate, methinks.

Along those lines-- how about some good news for a change? The Happy News is glad to offer it. We could probably use that, don't you think?

Yeah, well, I can't stay shiny and happy for too long. So let's talk about Twilight. I find it as obnoxious as everyone else who is not 14 and rabidly obsessed with it. But seeing a new Facebook page pop up, entitled: "Team Edward? Team Jacob? How About Team Shut The Fuck Up?" warmed my still-beating heart.

Where Have I Been?

I know this hasn't been a post-heavy week for me. But I do care about all you readers, so in the nature of full disclosure, I'll share with you all the Top Five Reasons I've Been Absent This Week. Ready?

5. Thanksgiving. It was only one day, I know. Well, it's Saturday and I'm still in a turkey-induced coma, on my fourth day of family togetherness and have one last Thanksgiving Extravaganza to attend starting in about fifteen minutes from RIGHT NOW.

4. Final Exams. Three ten-page papers, a 50-minute presentation, and two final exams in the next week and a half= my first priorities.

3. Personal Chaos. My car was towed, I dropped a hammer on my foot and broke my toe, and my year-and-half-old fish died all in the same 24 hours. Raging, medicating and mourning are about the only things I've been doing.

2. Lack of Interesting Material. Originally I was planning on taking a leaf of out Lizzie's book (the WalMart Novels), putting my money where my mouth is and reviewing a certain romance novel this week. But it appears either my neighbors or the hobo that wanders my street and tries to beat my door down on a biweekly basis stole it off my doorstep, so this process is taking a little longer than usual.

1. Building Excitement. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, no? And I WILL be liveblogging The Office this week, so I'm trying to put you all in a holding pattern of anticipation. Is it working?

Not to worry, dear readers. I should be back in action within a day or two-- with detailed explanations of the aforementioned activities. Until then, enjoy your leftovers and don't forget about me!

Get Excited, People

Announcement for all fans of NBC's hit television series The Office!

I will be liveblogging the show on Thursday, December 3rd from the comfort of my living room.

How many of us watch the show and find ourselves commenting out loud to everyone else in the room? Well, now you get to hear what I have to say (because I know that's really thrilling).

So get excited, people!

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

In an earlier post, I talked about how the Thanksgiving gatherings in my family can get a little out of hand. And everyone (or at least most people) can share similar stories: family feuds around the table, disputes over who is preparing the sweet potatoes, disappearing cranberry bread, off-color dinner conversation. But this weekend I went home to see my family for a little pre-Turkey Day bonding, and I realized I might have been a little hasty in my judgment of the holiday.

After all, my family is pretty freakin cool.

My presentation of the holiday as a fiasco that required me to hunker down secretly on the back porch with a bootlegged six pack and a bag of ice was unfair. The truth is, I thrive on what I like to call "family insanity"; that is, the circus that ensues when my large extended family (my mom is one of 7 kids) descends upon my parents' house for a weekend of food, fun, and free-for-all. I love nothing more than having everyone I care about stuffed into one house, eating and laughing and making fun of one another. It's my favorite type of party. I even enjoy the good-natured feuding over the obituaries and the second amendment.

My sense of humor is such that I find all that stuff hilarious, but sometimes I don't realize in the retelling that that doesn't constitute someone else's idea of a good time. I do cherish my family holiday. True, turkey doesn't do it for me. I'm much more a fan of Christmas and my grandma's lasagna. And no, November doesn't thrill me either. But having everyone all together, kids charging through the house, dogs running under feet, grandparents competing over one another to be heard?

Yeah. That is something to be thankful for.

Heeere's Johnny!

Hey kiddies! I'm back from my stay at the Wal-Mart Novels--and what a stay it was! I've never become quite so intimately involved with the dirty details of the romance world, and boy did I dig up some... controversial stuff. A quick sampling:

Discovered a "spray-on condom" that promises "a snug fit for all sizes". Wtf? Yeah. Check it out.

Posted on the language of the romance novel, using a novel called "Deeper" as an example. Got the attention of the book's author, and will be receiving a copy in the mail to review here, on Reese In Pieces, this week. Should be fun!

Browsed quite a selection of romances-related sites, including Cosmopolitan, Men's Health (always good to get both sides of the story, I say) and a few dating blogs, which may or may not be relevant to the topic. Just things that popped up as I scoured the internet for the best in smut.

And finally, some insight on romance novel writers. Turns out many writers have similar stories, no matter what they produce. Interesting.

Farewell (By Heather)

My week as a guest blogger here at Reese In Pieces has come to a close. I'll be heading back over to my own blog, The Art of Adaptation which explores my experience living with cerebral palsy. I've had fun expressing the side of myself that is a writer, and taking a break from disability for a bit. So come on over to The Art of Adaptation and check out my blog!

"Have You No Shame?": A Review (By Heather)

I came upon Rachel Shukert's book Have You No Shame? at a reading in which she read a section of her memoir entitled "A Nice Girl Like You." The section chronicles the difficulty of finding a job in New York City after not having had a job in the city before. Shukert gets a job in a vintage-esque thrift store but finds it much more difficult to secure a job she actually likes.

The first time I got to read the book from start to finish was on a spring break trip to Maine with my grandparents. I was reading it on my kindle with its text-to-speech feature on, headphones in, when I got to chapter six. In this chapter, Shukert recalls a time in which she is a rebellious teenager, away from her parent's watchful eyes at a Jewish youth group, dodging her chaperones and having a lot of oral sex. Up until that point, I was very much entertained and laughing often, but for one thing, it just didn't feel right reading this in the back seat of my grandparent's Buick. I suppose that the environment in which I read it somewhat colored my interpretation in that I am more conservative and therefore, a bit prudish around my grandparents. However, having read the book since then, that is still my least favorite chapter. There is a lot of entertainment to be had in Rachel Shukert's book in which she invites the reader into some very private moments through different stages of her life.

"I Was Told There'd Be Cake": A Review (By Heather)

Sloane Crosley is author of a collection of essays entitled I Was Told There'd Be Cake, a New York Times best seller. She writes with a certain wit and humor. I've read the book several times. Each time different things stick out to me but I allways come away having laughed and been quite entertained. Also, as a result of reading this book, I have promised myself never to be in the wedding of someone I went to high school with whom I have not spoken to in the last decade, for fear of an equally hideous version of a baby pink plaid bridesmaids dress. I can't wait to read Crosley's next collection of essays entitled How Did You Get This Number? due to be released in June of 2010.

Reading her essays made me remember some of my own lesser idiosyncrasies such as my own "pony problem," however at a much younger age. And how if I go back to volunteering, I would probably much rather work with troubled youth instead of in a museum with butterflies and one, very large moth. I have an irrational fear of moths in particular as well as other winged creatures. Perhaps I am jealous that I cannot fly? My own pony problem consisted of many variations of the plastic My Little Pony collection. However, instead of living in the kitchen, they would reside in my sister's antique nightstand which originally held a chamber pot. So I guess if one has a pony problem, you're bound to stash them in a weird place.

Beginning, Middle, And End (By Heather)

This video stars a writer by the name of Meg Cabot, author of Big Boned and The Princess Diaries. She has a few tips on how to write a novel, if you wish to look to youtube in its infinite wisdom. Cabot seems to be obsessed with cats that are more or less in one piece, most of the time in three pieces anyway.

A Bibliophile Asks: Is The Book Dying Out? (By Heather)

I love my Kindle. It is the latest in e-text technology that I have come across. Kindle is highly convenient; one can have access to many books at once without being in a bookstore or library.  Of course there are conveniences and luxuries that come along with a traditionally bound book as well. You will never have to be concerned about the battery life of the traditional book.

Is the book dying out? A question which has been asked at least once in each of my upper level English classes.  I certainly hope not. If the book is indeed a dying art, are Kindle and other technologies like it to blame? Maybe, but I don't think so.  I believe that e-text can work side-by-side traditional text.  I am a bibliophile, so I certainly hope that people keep buying hard copies of books.  I love everything about books! The smell of the paper. Turning the page. The moment when you place the bookmark in its place before returning to the real world.  I simply can't imagine a world without books.  Regardless of being a writer as that may make me biased, books have been an integral part of society for centuries.

Stop and imagine a world without books for a moment and how that would impact your life. Are you cringing yet? I am. Regardless of your apsirations, unless you live under a rock, you have read a book. Imagine trying to write a paper without the use of books, especially when Wikipedia is frowned upon by teachers.

Okay, I understand that not everyone loves the smell of paper. Maybe a couple of my fellow bibliophiles can relate? But really, an integral part of being a writer is reading until your eyes can't stay open anymore.  Writing is a craft that should be observed, studied and practiced.

A Roundup: On Writers (By Heather)

Garrison Keillor (August 7, 1942 -- ) is a story teller, radio host, writer and fellow English major. I have grown up with his voice in my living room, telling stories every Saturday night on NPR's Prairie Home Companion.

Emily Dickinson (December 10, 1830 – May 15, 1886) was a very prolific American poet who in her lifetime was not known for her poetry but rather her introverted personality and love of white clothing.

Sylvia Plath (October 27, 1932 – February 11, 1963) was a British-American poet who is too often remembered for the way she died and not her life's work.

Billy Collins (March 22, 1941 -- ) who's writing has a fun-loving and easy spirit, is one of my favorite poets whenever the need to unwind arises.

Sloane Crosley (August 3, 1978 -- ) is a witty, young essayist with her own writing style. She is someone who's talents I aspire to.

Harper Lee (April 28, 1926 -- ) is best known for her novel To Kill A Mockingbird. In 2007 she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom for her contribution to literature. Since the publication of To Kill A Mockingbird, she has only published a few short essays. She assisted Truman Capote in his research for his book In Cold Blood.

Daniel Murlin Nester (February 29, 1968 -- ), a man who knows "How to be Inappropriate" as well as all you may or may not want to know about Queen.

Let Me Introduce Myself (By Heather)

Hello, my name is Heather. Reese is a friend of mine, and we are both aspiring writers. I will be taking over the helm of this blog for a week. Writing is one of my main passions in life. I prefer to write in the creative non fiction, and poetry genres. I also have been working on and off in the past year to write some semblance of a memoir. However,  I consistently find it to be quite the challenge.

Unlike Reese who is more serious and consistent in her commitment towards journalism, my attempts at this particular type of writing are more sporadic and feel a little more like random acts of journalism. I hope to get a Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing-non fiction, or poetry. I'll be lucky if I get into an MFA program the first time I apply because the approximate age of those who are in MFA programs is 28, and I will be 23 when I graduate with my BA in English and writing.

This week I will be doing some book reviews on the works of Sloane Crosley and Rachel Shukert. Simultaneously I will discuss my own life as a writer. and provide some advice on the MFA program in writing.

Thanksgiving Disaster: What's Next?

We've all had a holiday-related family disaster or two in our pasts. After some consideration, I decided to write about mine, as another sort of jump-start (see: Most Embarrassing Childhood Moments) for my memoir. This year's festivities are quickly approaching, and I think it's important to get into the groove, so to speak, before I even try to cover the upcoming holiday mayhem.

So here it is: Thanksgiving 2008, timestamped and told from the most honest point of view I could muster. Walk with me through this experience as I recall it to the best of my ability.

It’s 11 o’clock on Thanksgiving morning. My car is parked half on the grass, half on the gravel and when I step out, my grandmother is picking her way from the house through the frozen stones toward me. I’m shocked, because dinner’s not till 3, and Grandma has a reputation for getting sick of our antics and bailing out early. It’s strange to me that she would voluntarily arrive four and a half hours early, especially when mom is still in her robe and the sweet potatoes aren’t even cooking yet.

Grandma flags me down as I topple out of the car, stops for a quick embrace, and quickly retreats to her own vehicle. “I’ll be back later. I’ll be back at 3,” she says in passing. “I just stopped by after church. I thought you’d be having brunch!”

We are not having brunch. We are only just arriving from a half an hour shopping trip; we are out of milk, out of coffee, and someone ate all the cranberry bread between 8 o’clock last night at 9 o’clock this morning. My sisters are still passed out upstairs, and nobody has even considered going to church. I haven’t had my morning cup of coffee, so my reaction time is slow. And the bird is nowhere near in the oven; in fact, I’m not even sure it is a bird, because last year the turkey spoiled and no one could stomach the smell so we ate roast beef instead.

That’s fine with me. I believe that every holiday is an occasion for lasagna and that’s it.

This is the classic Thanksgiving at my house. We’ll have a relatively calm family dinner in a few hours, during which my uncle and I will sit together and pepper the conversation with talks about guns, hunting, and home defense via shotgun. My grandparents, each deaf in one ear, will compete to hear and be heard over the chatter and chewing and tales of six-point bucks, misinterpret the conversation at various points, and eventually (though inadvertently) change the subject to death, heart failure, and the relationship between their high school classmates and the local paper’s obituary section.

Traditionally, my sisters and I place bets on how long it’ll take the conversation to turn firmly to death and stay there. The trick to this game is not to let my grandmother know that we’re actually placing bets, because then she’ll make a point not to talk about it. The game becomes significantly more complex in that case.

Someone, at some point, has to try and get me to admit that I like the turkey, since I spent the other 11 months of the year complaining about the fact that we’re not having lasagna like we do for Christmas. If we are, in fact, consuming a bird rather than a beast, I will have to agree that the turkey is good, evading the point that I don’t like turkey at all regardless of how skillfully it is prepared.

After dinner the requisite talk about death and heart failure mellows into easier topics like diabetes and other less-threatening health problems, and we put out dessert even though we all ate with abandon no more than hour ago. Everyone is asking me about school and work and I am leaving out most of the sordid details, but I do admit my tendency to charge what I like to call "bullshit tax" to the most obnoxious of grocery store customers and receive a nice swatting and ten-minute speech from my grandmother.

This pisses me off so that when my phone starts ringing at the dinner table I am all too happy to duck onto the freezing porch and hunker into the corner, next to the pan of turkey fat that no one wanted to look at, in my socks while I plan my escape to the casino later that night with a bunch of my friends.

Traditionally, my aunt will show up around 7 with a jug of wine and most of the family will partake, some openly and some with coffee mugs as if they're just drinking water and ran out of cups. This year she can’t make it and we are clearing out when the door opens and my other aunt arrives, unannounced, packing two kids and a box of cheesecake bars. Everyone sucks back into the house as if by vortex and resumes their positions for a few more hours.

There is no wine whatsoever. My casino plans fall apart. My grandma mistakes them for "clubbing" plans and I receive another speech.

As everyone’s heading out, I escape to my sister’s room (my room was absorbed by other family members when I left for college) with a ziplock bag of ice to chill my remaining beer, which has survived the trip home in a sock at the bottom of my backpack.

No one may be the wiser, but I need it.

Research Can Be Fun: The Kayaking Articles

In preparation for an article (or series of articles, depending on how things go) about kayaking around New York State, I'm drawing on my own experiences as an outdoors-woman, my older articles on the subject and some research for the newest asepcts I'm looking into, like information on buying kayaks and figuring out which one is right for you, to produce the best story I possibly can. And I just found something interesting.

I bet you've never thought much about the importance of kayak color. Seems silly, but there are legitimate pros and cons to what shade your boat is (NOTE: 'boat' does not necesarily mean "speedboat"; in this industry, any on-water craft, like canoe or kayak, is considered a boat).

Consider: this guy prefers his sand-colored boat to the brightly-colored counterparts because it's easier to hide it during overnight camping trips. Other people feel you should stick to a brightly-colored boat for high visibility on heavily trafficked waters, but warn you to choose wisely, as red boats fade faster and show wear more quickly than others.

It seems, though, that dark-blue boats are the most universally dangerous color of kayak available. They blend a lot more readily with the water than other colors, making the person in the boat nearly invisible unless they have brightly colored paddles, PFD or other accessories to help them stand out. This is not to say that blue boats should never be purchased; just that it's something to consider when shopping, especially for those who buy gear, boat and accessories at the same time. Most sources seem to agree the the best bet is a boat in the brighter part of the color range (red, orange, yellow) or a lime-green or robin's-egg-blue boat.

This might seem a little out of left field, but considering that Travel and Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries in the country and that outdoor recreation is one of the biggest subdivisions of that; that pretty much anyone can paddle, from small children to elderly people to those with some physical restrictions or limited mobility; and that purchasing and using a mid-range kayak is, in the long run, one of the most cost-effective investments in the realm of vacation activity, kayaking is actually one of the most broadly relevant topics I'm currently writing about.

Guest Blogging: The Preview

So next week a few bloggers will be switching up and guest blogging for each other. I'll be taking the helm at "The Wal-Mart Novels", a hilarious and fittingly sarcastic blog that chronicles my dear friend Lizzie's adventures through the trashy romance section of Wal-Mart as well as other smut-related topics. To get a better look into her world and prepare to write in her place, I interviewed her (she returns the favor here). This is the result.

(Note the short answers: these are her words, not mine.Read her blog and you'll understand).

Q: What is your favorite TV show?
A: I don't watch TV. I can't afford cable.

Q: Pepsi or Coke? Why?
A: I don't drink brown colas. I only eat white food.

Q: Why did you choose to blog about your topic?
A: I want to connect to a baser level of humanity.

Q: Favorite outside-of-class activity?
A: I'm not at liberty to discuss that.

Q: First book or movie that changed your life.
A: I don't let material things affect me.

Q: First car you ever owned?
A: I don't drive.

Q: What inanimate object are you most afraid of?
A: Bad literature.

Q: What was your favorite childhood tv show or cartoon?
A: Jeopardy. My grandmother used to come over and watch it with me on Friday nights.

Q: Favorite pre-college memory?
A: I put a mental block on my entire past, so I'm not really sure.

Q: What website do you visit most often?
A:  Google.

(Please note that Lizzie and I aren't trading blogs; Heather from The Art Of Adaptation will be taking over here for me while I'm out exploring the world of lit trash and oversexed housewives).

Enjoy.

The Fun Way Around Writer's Block

I'm currently writing a (stalled) memoir, chronicling my experiences as an awkward, clumsy, socially inept, obsessive-compulsive child all the way up to my experiences as a clumsy, more socially capable but still obesessive-compulsive young woman. I haven't written anything substatial in weeks, mostly for lack of clarity on a topic, but my other projects are starting to suffer from lack of balance. So I've decided to remedy this with a jump-start on writing. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

My Six Most Embarrassing Childhood Memories

(in order of ascending horror)

6. Riding my bike straight into a large oak tree in my parents' front yard whilst trying to impress the neighbors on my first day without training wheels (age 6).

5. Spilling an entire carton of chocolate milk down my shirt after trying to run away from the fourth grade boy who asked if, during my sleepover at my grandmother's house that weekend, he might "come over and sleep in the same bed" with me (age 9).
4. Accidentally flushing my own overall-straps down the toilet while I was still wearing said overalls; being discovered by my teacher as I tried to blot off the straps with toilet paper afterward (age 6).

3. Making my best friend "ask out" my sixth-grade crush on my behalf while I waited in the bathroom; his response was hysterical laughter and a "hell no" (age 11).

2. Having the "1-800-Jenny" Jenny Craig Weight Loss Program theme song sung to me by a chorus of sixth grade boys in the back of the school bus (age 7).

1. Being visited by "Aunt Flo" on the first day of seventh grade, when I was wearing the palest jeans I owned, could not wrestle open my own locker, got lost, missed the bus and through it all had nothing but toilet paper to work with (age 12).


Yes, they're cringe-worthy and horrific. You may feel embarrassed just reading about these exploits. But that's exactly it: I'm exploiting my humiliating past. For the entertainment of myself and whoever else stumbles along and finds it. So please, don't worry about the psychological impact of all this--I'm all the wiser (and hopefully, will be all the richer) for it.

Top Three Things To Avoid When Sick

This one's for all my friends who have been struck down by the stomach bug this week (not me, thankfully). When you're that sick, you don't have a lot of tolerance for long ranting, so here's my best advice in 15 words or less:

When Sick, Avoid:
1. Milk products
2. Seafood products
3. Products with inherent toxins (cigarettes, alcohol, other drugs)

Good luck and good night.

The Daily Beast!!

Just found some super-cool linkage: the Daily Beast quoted me and linked back to my Saint Rose Chronicle article on Dan Nester's How To Be Inappropriate. Here's the full story.

Top 12 Photos I Love (you guessed it), Texas Edition!

All photos copyright Teresa Farrell 2009

I Might Be Jumping The Gun, But...

I've barely gotten in the door from Austin and set my bags down and I'm already forming a diabolical plan to get myself to another city and another media convention. This time it's the 26th Annual Associated Collegiate Press National College Journalism Convention in Phoenix, Arizona, February 25-28, 2010. 

Of course, I'm obligated to do some research of my own. Like figuring out the 15 Best Things to Do In Phoenix. Even after my research, I basically wandered around Austin without any real plan or purpose (except to find cowboy boots and BBQ), but having a few things to base the exploration on definitely helped.

Rockstar Alice Cooper is from Phoenix, and has a restaurant there I'm dying to visit.

From a journalistic standpoint, I find it helpful to look into local media: newspapers and magazines, mostly.

To get the flavor of any new place, combine three simple ingredients: time management skills, a map and an open mind. You'll find all sorts of wild, fun, unique stuff to do.

And it never hurts to find out about points of interest: festivals, historical sites, and things like restaurants, nightlife, art, music, and special attractions are all good to know about and can help max out even a few days in a new city.

And, of course, logistics: having some idea of a city's public transportation, what parts of town to avoid, and local traffic tips will benefit you in the long run.

My Top Ten Favorite Moments in Austin

My Top Ten Favorite Moments in Austin

(image via HelloAustin.com)

10. Watching the drunks wander around town on Halloween-- the party's so big, they shut down blocks of the city for it.

9. The editor's conference I was actually there for!  From 9-5 on Friday, I learned a lot.
8. Getting yelled at not once, but twice for acting like an uncultured ass at an Austin Museum of Art exhibit.
7. Stubb's BBQ. The food's top-notch (Smoked Duck Quesadillas, anyone?) and so is the heritage: the place has a history of hosting famous blues artists. Much more my scene than the museum-y stuff.
6. Souvenir shopping at some of the coolest live-music inspired shops in town.
5. Lounging on the grass outside the State Capitol Building and learning to tell time using only my hand and the sun.
4. Watching the bats fly out from under the Congress Avenue Bridge. An Austin tradition-- on Halloween none the less.
3. Nachos and Knock Out Punch from Bikinis Bar and Grill on 6th Street-- 6 hours later, we were all happy campers.
2. 6th Street and the chaos that comes with it-- especially the Musicians Only parking signs.
1. Exploring Austin: 11 hours, over 200 pictures, and over five miles traveled. Sites seen: the Congress Avenue Bridge, the Texas State Capitol Building, the Warehouse District, and South Congress District.