Thursday, August 26, 2010

Choose Your Poison...

On this fine Thursday, when we're all just wishing the weekend would hurry the hell up and get here already, I bring you a sampling of fun & fluff to tide you over until you reach the light at the end of the tunnel (wherever that may be).

We've got dark & poetic...

Lighthearted & fun...

and finally, a sample of fresh-brewed Witty/Brilliant Pop Culture Commentary.

Enjoy!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Coloring Book of Dreams: Edit

I don't think the blogging purists among us will like what I'm about to say. But I believe in full disclosure (in this case, at least), so I'll say it nonetheless.

I have ditched the Coloring Book of Dreams.

As an obviously professional and incredibly busy/connected/important 21 year old adult (pffffft), I'm finding it increasingly hard to squeeze time into my calendar for coloring page after page of candy frosted cupcakes and little smiling whales. So I feel it's time to modify this whole thing a bit.

I have two weeks left of summer; so far I have conquered "K" for "Kayaking, Whitewater", "W" for "Waterfall", and "C" for Cupcake, and "A" for "Art" (coming soon). And failed to put up any colored pictures of them. Instead, I bring you real pictures. Isn't that much better? I think so.

I also must confess (in the interest of full disclosure) that I find some of the things in the Coloring Book of Dreams purely stupid. Such as "D" for "Dinosaur". Where will I find one of those to take a picture with?

I could take this in an incredibly inappropriate direction and start a list of Rude Gestures and Phrases based on the Coloring Book Of Dreams, but I will reign in that schizophrenic urge (at least for this project) and settle on a healthy compromise: I'll simply spend the next two weeks (or as long as the warm weather holds out) demolishing an A-Z list of Fun Summer Stuff. I'll try to stick to the suggestions in the book and tell you what they are, but no promises I won't go off and do something totally cra-zay instead, like [insert random death-defying feat here]. In fact, I'm taking suggestions! So if you have something wildly fun that you think I should try in the last two weeks of sunny summer, leave your comments below (no guarantees, but your chances are better if you pick something I'll actually do--no "join a traveling circus for the week" type dares, though that would be fun). Does this sound like a fair compromise to everyone??

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: August 21, 2010

Can't talk, but I can share some of the stuff I've come across this morning--it's too good to wait for a full length post. First: it's never too early to mock a national crisis, so ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the BP Oil Spill Halloween Costume 2010. Also of interest: a lady in lettuce, a tree made of shoes, and, at the behest of my youtube homepage, Bulls Gone Wild. Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Coloring Book of Dreams: "W" Is for "Waterfall"

After a few weeks of grocery shopping and paying bills on my days off, I decided enough was enough. So I threw my stuff in the car, filled up the tank and hit the road. And where did I end up? At a waterfall.

picture copyright JMF Publishing 2010


And, upon arriving, I threw on my favorite Keens, hiked to the bottom, and...

picture copyright JMF Publishing 2010

There won't be pictures from the book on this one, since it says "W" is for "Whale". But, as you can see, I think I can safely cross "W" off the list!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Coloring Book of Dreams: "C" is for "Cupcake"

Happy Birthday to me!

No, I haven't forgotten about my promise; I am still making my way through the Life is Good Coloring Book of Dreams. Today I conquered "C" for "Cupcake"--and rightfully so, as it was my 21st birthday!

The original plan was to bake a batch of some exotic flavor a la Cupcake Wars, but after being up half the night celebrating, the last thing I was going to do was wake up and start concocting buttercream icing from scratch.

Tomorrow is Whitewater Wednesday again-- so while I'll [hopefully] be out practicing my rolls with the Team M&M guys, you guys can feast your eyes on some of the "sweet!"--and sometimes scary--cupcake recipes I found on my ambitious quest for the perfect 21st birthday treat.

Pics of the completed, colored cupcake picture to come soon!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Nice & Toasty : Baseball Fans Rejoice


I must admit, sports aren't really my thing; that's why you don't see any of that stuff on Reese in Pieces. But this "Pro Toast" toaster was odd/cool enough to make me think about baseball for a minute. After seeing it the other day in the mall, I can't help but wonder what other kinds of designs they can burn into your toast.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Reese's Links: The Best Stuff Ever in 30 Seconds or Less

Since I'm going to be out for the rest of the week doing epic rolls in a whitewater boat called "burn", I figured it would be cool to leave you with a list of the best stuff ever (!) to peruse in my absence-- all in one breath. We can chat when I get back. Ready?

I know we've all heard of Lindsay Lohan's latest mishap, i.e. jail sentence, but I bet you haven't heard this one: apparently a Buffalo man attempted to sneak back into the country (from Canada, no less) using someone else's passport and wearing an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet that he claimed was meant as "a show of support" for Lohan. Obviously his help, the court system and her various stints in rehab did a good job of keeping her on the straight and narrow. And I'm sure his excuse will hold up in court, too.

OK, that's enough Hollywood bs. Wanna see something really cool? Look at this. I got one last week, except mine was free from roof rack company Yakima (and I'm not just promoting them cause they give me tons of free stuff). Working at a kayak shop has meant learning a lot about the importance of having strategically placed bottle openers attached to everything. These ones are made out of recycled bicycle parts, which apparenlty you can do a ton of stuff with, so points to Yakima for caring about the earth. If that's not credible enough for you, Lady Gaga has one of their cartop products featured in her Bad Romance video; points to whoever can identify it (hint: focus on the first 25 seconds or so).

And finally, some good third-grade level humor: price tag fails, the Greatest Freakout Ever and its Aftermath, a hot new rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody feat. the musical stylings of The Kind With The Broom, and the final answer to the burning question: What Is Love? (most of us have seen the answer, but I think it's worth a replay).

Monday, July 19, 2010

Where The $%&* Have I Been? + The [Coloring] Book of Dreams

Ice cream? Yes, please. Making my own is on my list for the summer.
[pic courtesy of lifeisgood.com]

So, I could apologize again for my extended absence, and explain to all you loyal fans that I've been living in the woods for the past few months, sans internet, as the only company who would provide it to me wanted a $150 installation fee on top of 90 bucks a month for usage (wtf?). But I won't. Because I'm pretty sure I have something better to share with you now. Something that makes up for all the long days and nights with no update from Reese in Pieces (sad face).

See, since I've gone "off the grid" for the summer, I've been finding new and exciting things to do with my free time. Because I am living in a place that boasts the only McDonalds ever known (to me) to close their doors forever from lack of business, there's an element of creativity involved in finding stuff to do here. This means that I spend my Tuesday nights doing things like going out for steak sandwiches and then driving up to the town dump to try and lure some bears out of the trash to "see how they react" to the presence of a bunch of humans that smell like beef (believe me, I know how insane that sounds, and for the record, we didn't see any). During this period of time I've tried a few other crazy things as well, like whitewater kayaking. So far my experience has been nothing like this, which is what I will eventually do if I'm hardcore enough, but more like "get in the kayak in 4 feet of water, flip it over, and try not to drown". By the way, the people in that video are mainly my coworkers. Hopefully they'll teach me to be that good.

At any rate, I've made a list of exciting things I want to try this summer, and, like an eight year old, I'm basing it off of a coloring book put out by the super-optimistic feel-good company Life is Good. As you can see from the pic at the top of this post, it's filled with an alphabet of summer-themed ideas, from "K" for "Kayaking" (where I got the whitewater inspiration to start this whole thing) to "I" for Ice Cream, for which I have decided I will get a bag of ice, some heavy cream, and some rock salt and attempt to make my own (stay tuned for more on this project, including pics). The way this is supposed to work is that my sister, who is living with me for the summer and working at the Life is Good store in town, will join me in tackling various letters of the alphabet with fun/dangerous/hilarious events, all summer long. Once they're completed, I'll color in the page, take a picture of it, and post it up here. Proof, dear readers. Make me accountable. I said I would have an excellent summer, and by golly, I will.

Oh, one last thing. Some of the letters have very unrelated pictures, like "D" for "Dinosaur". Considering that I am not in a hurry to have this hanging up on the wall of my apartment, I'll be making up something else fun that starts with "D" for that week, and the same goes for other weeks with odd pictures attached. Unless you readers have any dinosaur-related summer-fun suggestions, which I would be up for at least considering, unless they involve an abandoned island and a cryogenic freezer.

Like any good, dedicated blogger, I don't have this coloring book in front of me right now. So this week I will continue to try Whitewater Kayaking (K), hopefully with pics this time, and I'll invent "G" for Guitar, because I haven't been playing very much, and I don't want my fingers to turn to stone from lack of practice. So keep an eye out for updates, and everyone have a safe and healthy week wherever you may be. I'm out!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Long-Awaited "Deeper" Review!

Though it may be late in coming, the promised review is here! For those of you who haven't been along for the ride, I called out Megan Hart's novel Deeper when I was guest blogging on The Walmart Novels for excessive use of double entendre in the title/description. So she called me out on not reading before I judged, offered to send me a copy to review-- and the rest is history.

So here it is. Read and enjoy, and pick up a copy of Deeper if you're interested (which you should be).

Megan Hart’s luscious romance novel Deeper has everything you want in a good bodice ripper—a torrid love story, risqué scenes and plenty of euphemisms for human sex organs. Oh yeah, and a dead guy.

I’ll give you the quick rundown. Bess met Nick 20 summers ago while staying at her family’s beach house in Seaside Town, USA. Bess is the All-American good girl who doesn’t drink, swear, skip work or cheat on her future-lawyer, football-captain-boyfriend back home. Nick is the bad boy that never settles down with one girl. When football-playing future-lawyer proves his true colors are red, white and jerk, Bess decides to ditch her good girl image and cheats on him with Nick. What begins as a volatile and exciting affair of “just sex”—they don’t even kiss for most of the book, lest some emotion get involved—quickly turns into true love (sigh). You see where this is going, don't you? One day that Nick goes for a swim and never comes back. Bess is heartbroken... and I’ll let you pick up the book to figure out the rest.

Ok, so this is a pretty classic girl meets boy storyline. But classic works. And the little detail that sets this apart is that when Bess comes back to the beach house during her divorce from this ex-football-player-turned-lawyer (surprise!), Nick also comes back—from the dead.

The plot is something new to me personally, as I’ve never quite read a romance novel about the undead, but follows the theme of “sex and the supernatural” that’s been ragingly popular lately (ahem, Twilight anyone?). Mercifully, there are no sparkly vampires or brood-y teenage werewolves here. Deeper is much more concerned with steamy sex scenes than it is with any of that BS. And let’s not kid ourselves; that’s why we pick up a romance novel in the first place.

The sex is, by the way, everything that romance novel sex should be: the right amount of heat and intensity, with just enough detail to make you blush, but not enough to make you cringe, puke or lose all feeling in your nether regions. And Hart nails the ever-tricky art of finding new and exciting ways to describe dirty acts, which, though they’re frequent (hey, these people have been apart for 20 years, okay? They have a lot of lost time to make up for), do manage to keep their panache, even into the second half of the book. And that’s important, because that’s where many romance novels start to trip over their own flowery language and exhaustive use of certain over-sexualized descriptions. Contrary to popular belief, there are only so many things that can “heave”, “pulse”, “throb” or “quiver” before they fail to impress you any longer.

The only thing that bothers me personally is that we never get to find out exactly what force is behind Nick’s mysterious emergence from the sea. There are hints of involvement with the dark arts when Bess goes into the apothecary in town, and a few references to ghosts—but no follow up to let us know what the final answer is. And compared to the hot and heavy scenes, the rest of the plot falls a just a teeny bit flat. It’s missing a little oomph, and a little detail. Still, the unanswered questions don't ruin the overall experience. This is an engaging story, with endearing characters and, thanks to the supernatural elements, a plot that pulls the reader in. I would certainly read it again.

Overall, I give Deeper a solid B+. An entertaining read, with a good plot and exceptional sex scenes. If the rest of the book received the lavish attention, development, detail and imagery that the sex did, it would be a bestseller. But even with its pitfalls and the occasional plothole, it’s definitely a good beach read, and anyone who loves romance novels should check it out immediately.

Special thanks to Megan Hart for giving me the opportunity to read and review. Hope it was worth the wait!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Link Round Up: Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras and Everything In Between

People always remember Valentine's Day in Feburary, but what they should really be remembering is Mardi Gras. Which, if you didn't know, is today.  For a holiday that may or may not have been inspired by the springtime orgies of ancient Romans, this gets surprisingly little recognition outside of New Orleans. So make your own party: cook up some jambalaya, mix some drinks, make yourself a Mardi Gras mask and see how many beads you can earn (no flashing required).

I'm currently working on a story for Saint Rose Chronicle about this one: formspring.me. Valleywag calls it "the sociopathic crack cocaine of oversharing". I have one, and I encourage everyone else to have one. Cause with a name like that, it has to be good.

I stumbled across this beauty and I couldn't help but share: Price Chopper, a grocery store with which I am very well acquainted, has started a blog. As a former grocery store employee (with the battle scars to prove it), I am both fascinated and disgusted by this new development. All I can say is this: let me see the blog of a Price Chopper Employee, a la Waiter Rant, and there will be one more satisfied customer. Or, better yet, let me write that blog myself.

Another airline mishap: "Silent Bob", aka actor, writer and film director Kevin Smith, was pulled off of a Southwest Airlines flight on Saturday because he "needed more than one seat to complete his flight comfortably."  After the YouTube success of "United Breaks Guitars" and the controversy over the sizing of Delta's new flight attendant uniforms, I'm willing to guess that the PR departments at these airlines are going to have their hands full.

And, finally, ladies (and gents): if your Valentine turned out to be a dud, take heart with some of these stories: the good, the bad and the funny.  Sometimes it really is better to break it off.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I'm Baaack!

Yes, it's true. I know it's been a few months since I've posted, but I'm back and ready to entertain. For now, I'll start you off on a light note with the thing I've been cracking up over for at least the past couple of weeks. Find it here.

I'll be back soon with the much-anticipated "Deeper" review that I promised after I did my stint at The Walmart Novels, so stay tuned!