Reese's Links: The Best Stuff Ever in 30 Seconds or Less

Since I'm going to be out for the rest of the week doing epic rolls in a whitewater boat called "burn", I figured it would be cool to leave you with a list of the best stuff ever (!) to peruse in my absence-- all in one breath. We can chat when I get back. Ready?

I know we've all heard of Lindsay Lohan's latest mishap, i.e. jail sentence, but I bet you haven't heard this one: apparently a Buffalo man attempted to sneak back into the country (from Canada, no less) using someone else's passport and wearing an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet that he claimed was meant as "a show of support" for Lohan. Obviously his help, the court system and her various stints in rehab did a good job of keeping her on the straight and narrow. And I'm sure his excuse will hold up in court, too.

OK, that's enough Hollywood bs. Wanna see something really cool? Look at this. I got one last week, except mine was free from roof rack company Yakima (and I'm not just promoting them cause they give me tons of free stuff). Working at a kayak shop has meant learning a lot about the importance of having strategically placed bottle openers attached to everything. These ones are made out of recycled bicycle parts, which apparenlty you can do a ton of stuff with, so points to Yakima for caring about the earth. If that's not credible enough for you, Lady Gaga has one of their cartop products featured in her Bad Romance video; points to whoever can identify it (hint: focus on the first 25 seconds or so).

And finally, some good third-grade level humor: price tag fails, the Greatest Freakout Ever and its Aftermath, a hot new rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody feat. the musical stylings of The Kind With The Broom, and the final answer to the burning question: What Is Love? (most of us have seen the answer, but I think it's worth a replay).

I Might Be Jumping The Gun, But...

I've barely gotten in the door from Austin and set my bags down and I'm already forming a diabolical plan to get myself to another city and another media convention. This time it's the 26th Annual Associated Collegiate Press National College Journalism Convention in Phoenix, Arizona, February 25-28, 2010. 

Of course, I'm obligated to do some research of my own. Like figuring out the 15 Best Things to Do In Phoenix. Even after my research, I basically wandered around Austin without any real plan or purpose (except to find cowboy boots and BBQ), but having a few things to base the exploration on definitely helped.

Rockstar Alice Cooper is from Phoenix, and has a restaurant there I'm dying to visit.

From a journalistic standpoint, I find it helpful to look into local media: newspapers and magazines, mostly.

To get the flavor of any new place, combine three simple ingredients: time management skills, a map and an open mind. You'll find all sorts of wild, fun, unique stuff to do.

And it never hurts to find out about points of interest: festivals, historical sites, and things like restaurants, nightlife, art, music, and special attractions are all good to know about and can help max out even a few days in a new city.

And, of course, logistics: having some idea of a city's public transportation, what parts of town to avoid, and local traffic tips will benefit you in the long run.

Reese's Links: Rodeo-Style Roundup

So I'm leaving for Texas in about two days. Less than two days. All-expense paid writer/editors conference in Austin over Halloween weekend (Halloween is on a Saturday this year!)= excuse to leave town. And no one can argue with that.

Obviously though, as any good little journalist will tell you, you need to do some research before you head off into these things. So I present to you, Reese's Links: Texas Edition.

First things first: the professional aspect. Here is the reason I  (and the other editors) are actually going to Austin to begin with. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 88th Annual ACP/CMA National College Media Convention.

Top Texas Halloween Festivals gives great insight on exactly what I'm in for, being in a town that shuts down streets (!) to celebrate All Hallows Eve. Although these aren't necessarily happening in Austin, I'm still excited to see how Texans get down.

I love nothing more than a good show, and this is the Live Music Capital of the World we're talking about, so I'm sure I won't be disappointed.

This directory shows the best happy hours in Austin. No ma'am, I certainly will not be disappointed.

And then there's this.

And, of course, I need to eat while I'm there. Tex-Mex or BBQ anyone?

I might be obligated to keep with a family tradition of visiting historical sites in every city across the country.

Really cool website: austinist.com tells me about halloween themed dance parties I might want to visit. Oh heck yeah.

That's it for now. More to come!

Reese's Links: Things That Made Me Laugh This Week

I've been sick and stressed out for approaching two weeks now. After suffering a minor nervous breakdown the other day, I decided I should do something to lighten my mood--like Chicken Soup for the Insane. So I scoured the internet for things I find hilarious and I am now sharing them with all you good people.

WARNING: They are probably considered "rude," "mean" and "politically incorrect." It is what it is.

"For the fisherman or cook in your life": The WunderBoner. Definitely not for the faint-of-stomach, as it involves some gut-turning dead fish action, but undeniably hilarious.

The best thing on this list is a graphic list called "caring for baby". Don't be alarmed. It's not gruesome or sick. Just funny.

Thank God, the creepy Burger King "King" mascot is on his way out. Yes, hovering over people's beds in a huge plastic mask and grabbing their genitals during football-themed commercials DOES qualify you as a sexual predator.

I received this in an email attachment. It's a hoax, but it's hilarious. Scroll down.

Watching people I know prank people I don't really know is always a good time.

Zombieland was actually funny; I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, slightly less so, but Tucker Max's website is wildly inappropriate and therefore entertaining.

I saw The Hangover this summer, but watching it again makes me feel less like shit.

This man was duct-taped to a flagpole outside a VFW in Rensselaer county a few weeks ago. He burned a flag outside of the post and was subsequently tied to the pole for public ridicule while a youth soccer picnic commenced across the street.

Men have finally come up with an equivalent to the push-up bra with Calvin Klein Padded Crotch Jeans. Now they can deceive us as easily as we deceive them! Hooray!

Admittedly mean, but hilarious enough to make up for it: ladies and gentlemen, I give you The People of WalMart. I heard it's going around via email now. Can't wait to find THAT in my inbox.

Talk about disrespect: you can now prank call people using Michael Jackson's voice. There's a list on the main page of all the OTHER famous people you can fraudulently impersonate, too.

The best thing you can do with the American dollar besides spend it.

Reese's Links: Inner Peace URLs

So apart from my writing, I (like many others) have been searching for "inner peace". It's safe to say this search has been fruitless so far, but since quitting my job at Ghetto Chopper last week it seems things have taken a turn for the better. It's always nice not to be abused and threatened by drooling, dangerous-looking people of questionable sobriety whom you can smell before you see.

Anyway, I thought Buddhism might be a good place to start with all this. And so, a glimpse into my Browsing History as I look into this whole "Spiritual Quest" deal:

-Dalai Lama's Instructions for Life, in conveinent poster form
-Checking out a field trip! Directions, About and Hours of Operation of a Peace Pagoda in Grafton, NY (close to Albany)
-In one page or less, these people will tell me How To Meditate.
-YouTube's take on Instructional Yoga Videos, complete with relaxing tribal music (non-pornographic version)
-More Yoga videos from iyogalife.com, which as far as I can tell is not pornographic, at least not in these studio-backdrop settings that I've been finding.
-I was raised Catholic-- how do Buddhist practices work with that? Historical interpretation here; then here's a real-life blog of a Buddhist-Catholic (complete with pic of Buddha and Jesus hugging!). I'm not trying to find a new religion, at any rate. Just some new insights. Maybe you can do both.
-Or, according to these people, maybe you can't.
-If I Feng Shui my apartment, will it help me achieve inner peace? About.com tells me so.
-This man wants me to "Tame The Raging Storm Within" me. And he's gonna tell me all about it using the 7 Deadly Sins. Although he seems a little off, timewise, when he says the economy is doing 'great'.
-I prefer the Non-religious approach: the psychological reasons I'm so unhappy and how to fix it.
-According to Newsweek, happiness is all a bix hoax anyway.

That's it for now. More to come later!